Speaking of literal….

Continuing from previous, here’s a well-constructed joke found at upjoke.com.

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As the alien onslaught continued, linguists were working furiously to translate the only message they’d received in response to our plea to understand why they were attacking.

The President was in his bunker trying to figure out where the first contact went wrong. He told his aide, “They landed and I went up to the leader and greeted him in peace. They immediately ran back to their ship and started their assault.”

Just then, the lead linguist ran into the room and said, “We think we’ve deciphered the message, though it doesn’t make much sense to us.”

“C’mon – spit it out!” yelled the president.

“The message just says ‘That wasn’t my hand.’”