Statusometer

Curbside Classic features a 1969 Motor Trend article comparing the three luxury brands. As always, MT tested everything from braking to G-force to suspension characteristics. They concluded that Lincoln was the best by car guy standards, but they also recognized that luxury buyers aren’t car guys.

So they found a way to test STATUS, which is the only variable that matters. They took the cars to Beverly Hills and parked in various luxury locations.

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After all is said and done, status is where it’s at. Status is what makes the heads turn and the doormen and parking attendants hustle just a bit faster in deference to what you’re driving. Since Beverly Hills is our closest laboratory, we experimented there. Result in the Status Standings: the Coupe de Ville is still king, with Continental a close second and the newly styled Imperial a grudging third.

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Elon reconnected EVs to status.

The first generation of EVs had a split personality. EVs have always been best for fleet use, streetcars and buses and city delivery trucks. Electric cars were aimed at rich women who didn’t like to get dirty and couldn’t turn a crank. After the self-starter in 1908, the status connection failed, and EVs were back to nothing but streetcars. Even streetcars were far more expensive than gas buses, so they faded as well.

Elon recognized that Gaia benefits the super-rich. He created EVs that satisfied the modern super-rich, who are young Tech Tyrants instead of delicate old ladies. Teslas ace the usual car guy tests, especially neck-snapping acceleration, the only measurement that really matters to males. The Gaia/ESG connection bridges the status gap, so Teslas also ace the Statusometer test.