Real journalism!

Moody’s rating service was a big part of the corruption in 2008. They seem to have mended their ways, if this latest piece of reporting is typical…

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Moody’s Analytics has found 21 million “red flags” associated with shell companies that could be used to enable financial crimes, from ancient directors to dubious addresses.

For instance, more than 2,200 companies have directors aged 123 years and above, despite the fact that the oldest known human lived to 122, said Richard Graham, a director at Moody’s Analytics, in research published Monday. One listed director — at 942 years old — would have been born in the 11th century.

There’s also thousands of examples of directors below the age of five, and 22,000 entities with a registered address at Egypt’s pyramids. Meanwhile, one individual held 5,751 roles at 2,883 different entities.

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King Tut and Methuselah are funny, but what’s NOT funny is that all of these thousands of frauds continue to steal and cheat with no punishment at all. Pure sucker filter. They know that outrageous lying wins every fucking time, so they roar out beyond the event horizon of outrageous lying.

Considering the near-infinite lifespans of known demons like Kissinger and Soros, I wouldn’t be surprised if those 123-year-old demons are genuine. The 942 might be slightly exaggerated.

Aside from demons, I’m fairly sure that the standard debunk of superlong lives isn’t valid. Most of the famous 160s and 170s are likely the result of poor memory and poor documentation, but there are a few convincing cases in well-organized and highly bureaucratic countries like Hungary.