USB jokes

Just for fun, looked at USB jokes.

Most were variations on the coffin, which was definitely funny the first and second times but not the third.

This one struck a perfect note:

A fitted sheet was the original USB plug. You put it on and it’s wrong. You turn it once and it’s still wrong. You turn it back and then it’s right.

Reminds me of my USB bedspread. One end has some old uncleanable oil stains on the edge, left over from the time in 1978 when I used the bedspread as a pad under a VW engine I was overhauling. The marked end goes toward the head, and the spread doesn’t fit properly in the other three directions. When I try to get it right, I always have to rotate it at least six times. Each time I look for the oil stains, but I always miss them the first or second time around.

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Here’s a long joke that ended up in the USB category because of an incidental word. I didn’t notice this at first, but it relates closely to the above paragraph!

A husband calls the Sheriff’s office to report his wife missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home!

Sheriff: Height?

Husband: I’m not sure. A little over five feet tall.

Sheriff: Weight?

Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sheriff: Color of eyes?

Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.

Sheriff: Color of hair?

Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.

Sheriff: What was she wearing?

Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don’t know exactly.

Sheriff: What kind of car did she go in?

Husband: She went in my truck.

Sheriff: What kind of truck was it?

Husband: A 2016 pearl white Ram Limited 4X4 with 6.4l Hemi V8 engine ordered with the Ram Box bar and fridge option, LED lighting, back up and front camera, moosehide leather heated and cooled seats, climate controlled air conditioning. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed, Weather Tech floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch, sunroof, DVD with full GPS navigation, satellite radio, Cobra 75 WX ST 40-channel CB radio, six cup holders, 3 USB ports, and 4 power outlets. I added special alloy wheels and off-road Toyo tires. It has custom retracting running boards and underglow wheel well lighting.