The proverbial Martian archeologist digging through videos from this decade would conclude that most of the population was infected by a horrible parasite that grew out of the ears, expanded into giant spheres connected by a curved stolon, and consumed all of the hair.
[Hmm. After seeing my Martian character in this scene… He might also conclude that Earthlings were trying to imitate Martians but missing the point, like a cargo cult.]
Polistra's Mill 