What would Nickles think?

Buick’s portholes, now seen as a fresh stylistic invention, were just a continuation of old practice. Before 1935 most cars had louvers on the side of the hood to let air flow through the engine compartment. The louvers were often turned into decorations. In 1941 Buick no longer needed the ventilation but still had the decorations.

After the war the decorations disappeared. Stylist Ned Nickles modified his new Buick to bring back the louvers with an extra gimmick, a neon bulb inside each hole that flashed with one of the spark plugs. Buick’s management adopted the portholes but skipped the neons.

Modern dickheads have reinvented the Nickles trick. They tune their riceburners to let out a series of massive gunshot sounds on each deceleration, then mount a set of LEDs on the rear bumper to flash along with the bangs.